My friend’s getting married and I’m pranking the mother of the bride to the point where I’ll probably burn in hell

My beautiful Paige-y Paige is finally tying the knot with lovely hubby-to-be Duane.

Hola!

Holaaaaaa!

When they’re not being mer-people, Paige and Duane like to eat spag bol so I had them round the another night and Paige handed me my official wedding invitation with a request to RSVP to her mom. Then, a glass of wine later, we cooked up an evil scheme to mess with her that starts with my heinously rude RSVP.

mail-1

Yoh! Also, WordPress degrades image quality terribly so if this is blurry just click on it and it’ll enlarge as well as look a lot more clear.

Once I hit send, I sat back and rubbed my wicked little hands with glee. How long would it take for her to realise I was joking? Or, would she totally take the bait and whip out a snippy e-mail letting me know that, no, I can’t wear a sletterig wit rok to her daughter’s special day. But to my surprise she sent me this…

#respect

Yoh! Now THAT is diplomacy and tact!

Well-played Mrs H… well-played… Can we get some serious #respect for Mrs. Harris? Why is she not running our country like a boss?! And while we ponder that, can someone please buy the woman a Bells. Actually, make it a triple – a fat finger for every one of my extra guests!

Anyway, being a total asshole comes naturally to me, so I didn’t hesitate to reply with this:

You can say anything you like to people as long as you put x x x after it.

(You can say anything you like to people as long as you put x x x after it.)

I also put screen shots of our communication on Facebook and my mom, who’s just as evil as I am, wasted no time in getting in on the action.

16114501_10158180406400037_273574579320848563_n.jpg

You can see where I get it from, right?

Anyway, since I’ve sent that mail it’s been radio silence. At one point I wasn’t sure if she was pondering an exquisitely polite and gracefully written way to disinvite me from the wedding or had experienced a sudden death from an extreme case of ‘WTF?! WHO IS THIS BITCH?!’ But as it turned out, Paige’s mom was as cool as a cucumber. I know this ‘cos Paige went over to her house last night and her mom didn’t bring me up once. Not once! I even messaged Paige to fish around. ‘Bring up my name and see what she says!’ I urged. So she did. And her mom didn’t flinch! ‘This woman is iron clad!’, said Paige.

So, clearly it was time to ramp things up a notch. Thus I mailed her this:

Yep, I just reserved a table near the kitchen in hell.

God, I’m a charmer, hey?

So! Long story short, I don’t think I’ll ever be invited to another wedding again, but ag wat. I’ve just reserved the hottest table in hell. But for now, we wait for a response and I’ll be sure to keep you posted should there be any ‘developments’, be it via e-mail or Mrs. Harris rocking up on my lawn with a chainsaw.

Love, love

Leigh

UPDATE:

Okay! So the player got played! Mrs. Harris replied this morning (I’m only posting her response now ‘cos I’ve been running around like a headless chicken) and, as it turns out, she was on to me from the get go and enjoying playing along to see how far I’d have to take it to get her to crack. Here’s the wicked woman’s response:

Nice one, Mrs. Harris. Real nice. *insert slow clap here*

Nice one, Mrs. Harris. Real nice. *insert slow clap here*

We’ve all had a good laugh but I will admit there was a point I got a bit anxious worrying I’d seriously upset her when she went all quiet. Little did I know she was having the best time ever, withholding her response to watch me squirm via ‘OMG! Has she said anything?!!!!’ messages to Paige. So ja. Well done Mrs. Harris, you cunning little snake, I guess I’ve met my match.

Speaking of which, here’s hoping she’s not joking about the 20 year old. My cradle-snatching rep is shamefully deserved, so let’s hold thumbs for a lekker dof maar mooi boytjie vars van model skool. Or, better yet, that I’m the girl who catches the bouquet! (When I get married it’ll be to a grown up, I promise.) 

Love, love (again)

Leigh

Review: Piz Buin Protect & Cool refreshing sun mousse SPF 15

Craptastical drought aside, this summer’s been pretty epic and I’ve made the most of it by spending a lot of time outdoors. Even more so than usual, actually, now that I’m running every day. This means I’m going through sunscreen like water ‘cos I slap it on every time I hit the road or take a hike and make a point of trying not to tan. (Yep, even that golden glow you saw me sporting in all my Mexican holiday snaps on Instagram was totally faux. For the record, my two favourite self-tan’s right now are The Tan Lab in Dark and Skinny Tan Mousse.)

When you live in a city this beautiful, you'd be mal to sit indoors.

I climbed Lion’s Head the other day and it was totally worth the exploding lungs and sprained ankle on the way down. When you live in a city as beautiful as Cape Town, you’d be mal to sit indoors.

So, getting back to sunscreen! I was thrilled when Piz Buin dropped off a bunch of their loveliness the other day. Their products have always been favourites, ever since I was a little girl, as my mom considered the brand to be one of the best. Personally, I like that many of their offerings serve up a nice, high SPF but don’t feel heavy, sticky or leave a white sheen on your skin. They’re so nicely formulated, in fact, that many of their lotions feel just like a body lotion and if it weren’t for their ‘sunscreen smell’ (which I like), you wouldn’t know you were wearing one.

Anyway, Piz Buin now have a new kid on the block and that’s Protect & Cool refreshing sun mousse SPF 15. I’ve been wearing this guy when I run and I’m quite the fan. I like that its texture is truly ‘moussey’, just like a light shaving cream, so it’s super easy to spread. I literally spitz it on my arms, zip it up and down, and BOOM, you’re covered. The ‘cool’ bit comes in as it initially feels icy cool on your skin which is great if you’re sitting on a boiling hot beach and appreciate the sunscreen equivalent of a wipe down with a nice, cold cloth. I’m not sure what Piz Buin is using to get that right, but you’ll be glad to know there isn’t a drop of menthol in sight. (If you didn’t know, menthol, despite being in a zillion products, isn’t something you want on your skin. It’s a drying, irritating bad boy! The fact that so many men’s after shave products rely on it to get that ‘cool’ feeling is a mystery to me and quite maddening to the dermatologists I’ve spoken to in the past.)

Don't you love it when people swim in the sea with clothes on?

Cape Town. The city with a sea so cold peeps wear their blerrie jean pant to swim in it…

Currently, Piz Buin Protect & Cool is available in an SPF 15 which suits me fine for running as I’m only out there for 30 minutes at a time. They do offer it in higher protection factors overseas, however, so maybe we’ll see them make their way here at some point. But until then, if you’re looking for a higher SPF, know that their Allergy Sun Sensitive Skin Lotion SPF 50+ (R249,95, Dis-Chem) is locally available and ready to protect and serve.

Love, love

Leigh

P.S. Now is a great time to shop Piz Buin at Clicks. They’re currently running a buy 3 get one free special. I can’t see the Protect & Cool mousse on their site but here’s hoping you’ll be able to find it in store.

Elizabeth Arden has teamed up with The Sparrow Society to create a gift with purchase you’re going to want, want, want!

Do you like your products with a purpose? The Sparrow Society is a South African non-profit company that aims to create an equal community via job creation initiatives and partnerships with skills development organisation. To learn more about them you can pop on over here.

One of Sparrow Society’s recent partnerships is with Elizabeth Arden that’s seen them create the most gorgeous screen printed make-up bags that are almost 100-percent proudly South African with the exception of the zip that comes from Swaziland. While you can buy one of their bags from their online store, you can also get one for free via Arden’s latest lovely gift with purchase promotion. Simply buy any two Arden products, one of which must be a moisturiser, serum or foundation, and you’ll walk with a beautiful Sparrow Society bag filled with three of Arden’s best sellers.

Love it!

This offer is limited to one per customer and ends on 5 February while stocks last so get moving chicas!

So, what’s in the bag? First up, you’re looking at a full-size Eight Hour Cream which I know needs no introduction. Then you’ve got a Grand Entrance mascara – fabulous if you’re keen to create a wide-awake, feathery-looking lash line – and a 15ml Always Red EDT. You can read my review of warm and sweet-smelling Always Red over here. If you like Armani’s Si, you’re going to be a fan.

Love it!

Don’t we love how The Sparrow Society named this bag’s design after me? My other beauty writer friends all swear their bags tout their own names but I know they’re talking kak. The Leigh bag is suuuuch a winner!

But ja! We all love it when brands whip out great gift with purchases, but major props to Arden for whipping up something that’s linked to a proudly South African product that really makes a difference.

Love, love

Leigh

Review: Filorga Eyes-Absolute Ultimate Anti-Ageing eye cream

French beauty brand Filorga have recently launched a new eye cream and this one’s rather nice. I wasn’t in love with their existing eye cream as it was packaged in a jar and, if you’re a regular reader, you’ll know I don’t like cosmetics that expose it’s actives to air. The newbie, however, Eyes-Absolute (R840 at Skinmiles.com), lives in an air-tight tube so already we’re off to a good start. It also sports a ‘cyro-applicator’, a very fancy word for what’s essentially a metal tip that lends application a cooling-sensation that, Filorga reckons, will help the product better penetrate your skin.

Promise-wise, it aims to help minimise the look of fine lines and dark circles while improving firmness, ‘brightness’ and the condition of your lashes.

Filorga Eyes-Absolute

Filorga Eyes-Absolute Ultimate Anti-Ageing eye cream

As far as lines go, my first line of defence has always been what I consider the most effective solution – retinol* and Botox. But I can’t use retinol every day and not everybody is comfortable with needles so having an eye cream you can use day and night is a nice gap filler. Filorga’s formula relies on a tripeptides with a Botox-like action to help minimise muscle contraction. Obviously this is no match for Botox itself, but topical muscle relaxants have been proven to make a mild, but still visible difference. You won’t see this instantly, however, the effect is cumulative. Still, thanks to mega-plumping hyaluronic acid, Eye-Absolute can help minimise the look of fine dehydration lines, something you’ll notice shortly after the very first use.

Dark circles? These are always super tricky to beat. Often people have them simply due to the fact that the skin under their eyes is thinner so you can see all the vessels that lie beneath that. (If this is you, your best bet to blitz them is with concealer or a temporary filler that’s injected under the skin. I have friends who’ve done the latter and it works like a bomb.) Still, if you’ve got poor circulation in this area, it can look worse than it has to, so Filorga’s eye cream aims to lessen the impact by using peptides that help improve blood flow.

Here's that cooling tip I told you about.

Here’s that cooling tip I told you about.

In regards to firmness, Filorga are relying on two botanicals (silk tree and St. Paul’s wort) to help boost the production of collagen and protect their degradation. I can’t really comment here as I don’t know too much about them or if they’d be more effective than more extensively proven collagen-boosters like retinol, AHAs or vitamin C. They are living up to the brightness promise, however, thanks to the inclusion of illuminating soft-focus pigments to give your eye area a super subtle but instant glow.

You can't really see the pearlescence in this shot, but hey, I tried.

You can’t really see the pearlescence in this shot, but hey, I tried.

Now, last but not least, let’s talk lashes! There are several very simple topical vitamins and hydrators that can benefit hair and many of them can be found in the most basic of moisturisers. I totally thought Filorga would just pull one out of its formula and be all ‘and it contains X so it conditions too!’ which would be true, but no more exciting than what you’re probably using already. But, happily, it’s actually more sophisticated than that. Filorga’s using an isoflavone and tetrapeptide mix that inhibits the creation of DHT, a hormone that shortens the growth cycle of your lashes. So, with regular use, your lashes don’t get the message to stop growing and stick around a little longer than they should, resulting in a denser-looking lash line. Who doesn’t love that?

Love, love

Leigh

P.S. Filorga’s isn’t the only eye cream that’s made a good impression on me. I’ll be chatting about another one next week so keep an eye on the blog.

*Every time I mention a retinol serum I get a flurry of questions as to which ones I recommend so in a bid to pre-empt them here’s the answer: My current favourites are Exuviance Super Retinol Concentrate (R850, both at Dermastore and Skinmiles), NeoStrata Skin Active Retinol + NAG Complex (R1 360, Skinmiles), Dermaceutic Active Retinol 0,5 (R950, Skinmiles) and Dermaceutic Activ Retinol 1.0 (R1 010, Skinmiles).

In order of potency, Exuviance is 0,25%, NeoStrata is 0,5% and Dermaceutic lists their percentage on the bottle (0,5% and 1%). The key is to start low and build up a tolerance. I’m currently using the NeoStrata product simply because its the strongest of what I have on hand and even then I can’t use it every day.

All of these products, with the exception of Dermaceutic, are available from both Dermastore and Skinmiles but I’ve listed the store in brackets where the pricing is currently the best.

I still have a lot of love for Paula’s Choice retinol serums but now that the cost of delivery to South Africa is through the roof they’ve fallen off my radar in favour of the aforementioned that are just as effective and easy to access.

Who wants to win double tickets to The Michael Jackson History show at Artscape in Cape Town?

I love a good skouspel so I’m super excited to be invited to the opening night of The Michael Jackson History show at the Artscape Opera House on the 19th of this month. The world’s premiere Michael Jackson tribute show, it’s a globe-trotting Aussie production but stars internationally acclaimed MJ-impersonator Dantanio who hails from Kimberley, South Africa, nogal.

The show takes a whirl through the pop king’s entire catalogue. Think Jackson Five’s ABC; all the ‘biggies’ like Billy Jean, Bad and Beat it as well as the later stuff like Black or White and Earth Song. But don’t let me tell you about it. Check out a li’l sample of what you can expect below.

Looks like a jol, right? Gotta say I didn’t expect it to be that good and this preview totally sold me. The moment ‘man in the mirror’ starts belting I was like ‘Oh yes! Flatmate and I are going to be standing up in our seats scream-singing and moonwalking our li’l asses off. (We looove getting carried away with shizz. It’s our jam. In fact, I might even have to find a white leather glove…)you-think-you-can-make-an-album-thatll-outsell-thriller-funny-michael-jackson-meme-image
Anyway, whether you’re an MJ super fan or just looking for what’s sure to be a thriller of an evening entertainment-wise (ha ha! See what I did there? #dadjokealert), these tickets are going to be hot and I’ve got THREE sets of double tickets for the opening night (19 Jan 2017) to give away.

Keen to win? To enter, hit me up in the comments section telling me your favourite Michael Jackson song. There’s another way to win too. Get hold of me on twitter saying ‘Hey @lipglossgirl, I’d love to win tickets to the Michael Jackson History show’ and be sure to include a link to this post.

I’ll announce the winners around COB on Friday but if you’d rather not hazard the hand of fate you can buy your own tickets over here.

Good luck guys!

Love, love

Leigh

This competition is now closed. A big congrats to winners Cindy Alfino, Leozette Roode and Cara Glaser.

Beauty bits and pieces: Rimmel Magnif’eyes mono shadows, Bourjoir Slim Liner Feutre and Max Factor Lipfinity top coat – now sold seperately

Ready to roll?

Rimmel have just launched new mono shadows called Magnif’eyes (R79,95) and they’re huuuge so from a bang-for-your-buck perspective that’s pretty good. The colour selection is mostly neutrals, the odd pale colour pop (baby blue and pink) and two darker hues to help you smoke it up.

Going clockwise you're looking at Poser, Show Off, Crowd Surf and VIP Pass.

Going clockwise you’re looking at Poser, Show Off, Crowd Surf and VIP Pass.

For the most part, they really are easy-to-blend but I wouldn’t go as far as calling the formula ‘creamy’. None of the shadows are totally matte, they’re satin-finishes, which I like, with the exceptions being Superstar Sparkle which is pretty much pure taupe glitter that makes it feel a bit chalky and Show Off being a satin finish gunmetal grey with lots of glitter in the mix. (If you’re wanting a similar but slightly darker shade without the glitter then you’ll appreciate satiny charcoal-coloured Black Fender.)

From left to right:

From left to right: VIP Pass (my favourite all them all), Millionaire, Gold Record, Superstar Sparkle and Poser.

Of all the colours, I most like the two neutrals – bronzey VIP Pass and minky-hued Millionaire – as they stroke on easily, are nicely pigmented and would probably be the most wearable additions to my make-up bag. Also, special props go out to Poser, a mauvey pink, and Q-Jump, a pearly white, for their velvety texture – they really are the most luxe-feeling of the lot.

From left to right:

From left to right: Show Off, Black Fender, Q-Jump and Crowd Surf.

More new eye goodies to the beauty counter? Bourjoir have launched Slim Liner Feutre felt-tip eyeliner (R195,95, exclusive to Clicks) to fulfil all your ultra fine liner fantasies.

Love this!

Love this!

I love that the colour pay-off is nice and dark, the ink flows easily and yep, thanks to a pointed tip that’s keeps its shape, you can get fabulously close to your lash line. Then, depending on how you angle the tip, its easy to create an ultra fine line or fatten things up.

Nice colour pay off, right?

As far as wear goes, you should know it’s not waterproof or anything like that and comes off easily with a sweep of a face wipe.

If you’re looking to whip out a cat eye, Bourjour’s new baby is pure magic and, as it stands, its one of the first drug store options I’d recommend to anyone wanting a killer felt-tip.

Now let’s talk lips! If you’re a fan of Max Factor’s never-say-die Lipfinity lip colours you’ll know the first thing to run out is the balmy top coat. Unlike the lip colour that you only have to slap on once every twenty years and forget about – seriously peeps, its likely to survive a zombie apocalypse – the top coat is applied throughout the day to keep your lips feeling supple. You can guess which one’s going to run out first, right?

So, to solve the conundrum, Max Factor now serves up a top coat (R155,95, exclusive to Clicks) that’s sold separately, so you can balm up your lips to your heart’s content and not end up with ten hundred half used lip colours that you’re replacing as the balm runs out. Cleverness!

Single and ready to mingle!

Single and ready to mingle!

See anything you’d like to try yourself?

Love, love

Leigh

Review with swatches: Urban Decay Full Spectrum palette

Right! I’m back! I’m not going to bore you with any ‘new year, new me’ spiel. I have no resolutions and just going to keep dragging my body forward into the years until bits of it start falling off and I die. I realise that sounds fabulously morbid but I’m actually very optimistic for 2017. Being a bit of a weirdo person who just knows freaky deaky stuff that other people don’t I’ve been looking forward to turning 36 since my twenties ‘cos I know it’s going to be an important year in my life so let’s see how that rolls out, shall we?

Now let’s get down to bizznizz! Urban Decay are totally churning out the limited edition palettes, the most recent being Full Spectrum (R999) that’s going to thrill the flippin’ pants off anyone who’s crazy for colour.

Hello, hello!

Hello, hello!

..

The 'crystal' cover deserves a close up.

The ‘crystal’ cover deserves a close up.

Now let’s dive inside!

Told ya! Colour lover's paradise.

Told ya! Colour lover’s paradise. Clicking on this pic will enlarge it and you’ll get a clearer shot. WordPress always diminishes shot quality. Insert sad face here.

Now can we break for a second so I can show off the adorable li’l rainbow pooh pillow that announced it’s arrival?

img_20170109_091515_947

Don’t you think he looks like a Rupert?

How much do we love him? It wasn’t ‘at first sight’, however. I initially took him along with me to the P of E when I went to visit the fam over the holidays with the intension of giving him to my doggies as part of their Christmas pressie (they have rather fancy beds and can never have enough pillows) but by the time I got there we’d fully bonded and there was no way I was letting him go. So now his garish li’l ass is back, living it up on my bed where he’s glaringly out of place in my OCD-driven all white bedroom but I just don’t care. This is what love is people. It’s all about compromise.

But let’s get back to chatting about Full Spectrum. There’s no compromise there. If you want killer quality, long-wearing, ultra-blendable shadow and you want ’em bont as all hell this palette is one of the best your money can buy. Of the 21 hues, 18 are all new and three are from palettes of the past. Also, I love that the brush it comes with is a regte, egte double-ended one featuring a tapered crease brush on one side and a shadow brush on the other. No stupid little foam applicators here, thanks! Also, if you’re still applying your shadow using a foam tip, I beg of you to please, please, please make 2017 the year you buy yourself a big girl blending brush. The difference it makes in terms of ease of application and your ability to truly blend and sweep is like chalk and cheese.

Now let’s get swatchy shall we?

From left to right:

From left to right: Alchemy, Warning, Midnight Blaze, Hundred, Minx, Delirious and Platonic.

..

From left to right:

From left to right: Gossip, Seize, Calavera, Hatter, Blindsided, Sketch and Iced.

..

From left to right:

From left to right: Paranoia, Jones, Goldmine, Mean, Metamorphosis, Faded and Bump. (Fun fact! ‘Bump’ is slang for a small hit of coke. Can you tell I used to work in advertising?)

Being a boring neutral sort, this palette initially scared me. I tend to live and die with either a bronze or taupe eye that I create using my beloved Naked 1 palette. However, having this dude in my possession has challenged me to get a little more adventurous, particularly on days when I’m wearing all black. I also like that, as the shadows can be used wet or dry, I have the option of taking a single daring colour and converting it into a liner that can be worn alone as a statement-making swoosh.

I was playing around and here are two of the looks I liked best that didn’t come out blurry as all hell. (Doing a macro shot of your eye is so much harder than it would sound. OMG!)

We've got Goldmine in the corner (my favourite shade of them all),

We’ve got Goldmine in the inner corner (my favourite shade of them all), a blend of Paranoia and Gossip in the middle and Sketch winging at the outer corner.

This other look is a little is similar but a lot darker and looked magnificent once it was fully blended and fixed but, being a moron, I accidentally deleted my final shot so you’re left with the test but ag wat, you totally get the idea.

facetune-20170108413197738

Again we’ve got Goldmine on in the inner corner, Sketch in the middle and Delirious on the outer corner.

Rainbow Brite, eat your kaleidoscopic heart out!

Love, love

Leigh

P.S. I’m hitting pan on my favourite Urban Decay Naked 1 shade and that’s Toasted. I decided to buy it as a single but the bloody Foschini website that’s now selling UD’s full range (yes!) is out of stock. So, not having the patience to wait for my eBay purchase, I caved and checked out MAC’s Sable which is supposed to be this great dupe and can now tell you with absolute certainty it’s just not the same, especially when it comes to texture, so please don’t believe the hype!

P.S.S. Do you have any idea what it feels like to finally, finally run into your ex in an airport – the dude you’ve spent four years of your life avoiding – and you’re clutching A RAINBOW-COLOURED POOH? Do you?! DO YOU?!! Ja, I didn’t think so…