The radness that if my friend Vo recently went on holiday in the east and I was kind enough to ask if I wanted anything. ‘Oh, just any freaky beauty stuff you happen to spot. You know how they’re big into bird pooh facials and all that shizz. If you see anything cheap and nasty just nab it asseblief…’, I said.
And that’s how I came to be the proud owner of these boys:
The latter promises to plump up your smile lines but I have no clue what’s in it. Possibly snail slime too but as I don’t read Korean, I really have no idea. I tried them this morning but my treatment was short-lived as a neighbour who’d locked herself out decided to scale the roof 50cm away from the open sliding doors where I was sitting; patches on my face and selfie-snapping.
Neighbour: (Dying from awkwardness). Errr… Hi. Sorry about this.
Me: (Double dying from awkwardness) Er… hi. Um. This is a weird facial treatment a friend got me from Korea.
Me: It’s supposed to smooth out your smile lines.
Neighbour: Ah. (A pause.) Well good luck with that.
*Cue long embarrassing silence as she slowly crawled past me while I sat there feeling like a total tit*
Me: Well, bye then!
It was at this point, when I smiled good bye at her back, that one of the patches fell off, deep into the side crevasse of my couch. Obviously I dug it out but, as the patch is super frail and gelitanous, it had been torn to bits and lost all its moisture. Just like that, my dreams of a less liney looking gesig were dashed. Or at least on both sides anyway.
On the upside, the lovely gel-creme textured egg mask (it uses egg yolk among other things to hydrate) was pretty rocking.
A big dankie-dankie to Vo for bringing me a touch o’ beauty from the orient. You’re a total gem.