So I’m getting a lot of e-mails these days that are running along the lines of this:
Oh hey there blogger person who’s name I didn’t bother to learn!
We loooove your blog. Really dig the way you write about <INSERT SOMETHING TO MAKE BLOGGER THINK WE READ THEIR SHIZZ HERE>.
Anyhoo, do we have good news for you, girlfriend! As you’re so darn special we’ve selected you – yes, YOU! – to take part in our awesome campaign along with nine other suckers stupid enough to go along with this bloggers.
This is how it works: We want you to tell the world about our amazing new brand ambassador and are giving you the chance to spend your Friday night interviewing her in a run down department store to get her top tips on X, Y, Z. (What do you mean that sounds really boring and that you’d rather spend the evening getting blind drunk with your girlfriends? Come on, it’s going to be awesome!).
We’re then going to send you a cheap ‘n nasty body lotion/shampoo/mascara along with a rad branded key ring/lanyard/flash drive/mouse pad. You’re to then take an hour out of your crazy-busy day to sit and create a post about how awesome our newsflash/product/ambassador/campaign is. And best you be crazy creative and whore it out all over the net as much as possible ‘cos, in the end, we’re going to award a prize to the blogger who creates the most noise online. Woop, woop!
The prize? A hamper of ten more body lotions! We’ll also send you *another* ten body lotions for you to give away to your readers. Oh yeah! Sure, it’ll cost you R1000 to ship ‘em out across SA, but hey, we assume you’d have zero ish with incurring an expense to help us score free press and sell more product, right? Right?!
I’m now at the point where, instead of replying, I’m just going to send them a link to this. Or maybe my just rate card. While I don’t and won’t accept payment for review, I’m not going to help you get your campaign on for free.
Love, love (or maybe just ‘Regards’ this time),
Leigh
Lipgloss is my Life 
Laat my baie dink aan ‘n vorige post van jou, kry die damn PR mense nie die prentjie nie!)!)!)
They don’t. I’m at the point where I’m going to cut and paste their kak and stick it up in a hall of shame :-p
I know you are angry, but you still make me laugh! Miss your face and angry vents biets xx
Miss you too skattebol! Next week we maak n plan to see each other, okay?
Yes please, I have a fabulous bag of lotions and potions for you from our BOTY event 😉
This had my crying with laughter!!!
I have on a couple of occasions sent my rates in return to AMAZING opportunities like the ones you mention here, and often they ‘don’t have budget’ to pay for sponsored posts. Imagine my surprise when I then hear those same campaigns have radio spots, and that they’re willing to courier 10 prizes to the winners I appoint from my site?
But then I chill out, because OBVIOUSLY the radio station did it for exposure and the courier company did it because they’re so kind. I’m so silly sometimes!
Growl growl.
Love this post! I am new to this, so havent experienced much of this… But I loved your post, and your witty anger 🙂
OMG YES!!!!! Ok well I’m still a newbie blogger and since I use wp.com I don’t think I can get compensated for posts but it is still annoying when people get in contact with you to promote their item when its blatantly obvious that they haven’t read your blog/know nothing about you/your readers.
love this! It’s amazing how you can always make it sound hilarious yet still serious
Thanks for that 🙂
Thank you! Just thank you!
🙂
Epic post and as for the ‘wall of shame’ I just died laughing.
Brilliant!
Hah! I once had someone tell me they “LOVED MY WORK AND YOURE AMAZING” and had entitled the email “Dear Blogger” (haha)
And then they went on to tell me how I should GO BUY THEIR PRODUCT, BLOG ABOUT IT AND THEN BUY SOME MORE, GIVE IT AWAY TO MY READERS AND THEN THEY COULD REPOST IT ON THEIR WEBSITE AND ITD BE GOOD EXPOSURE AND I WOULD BE FAMOUS (LOL)
Sorry about the caps there. I’ll never forget it.
Oh my God, that’s hilarious. I remember a nail polish brand getting hold of me, think it was zoya, and the PR typed the whole mail in lower case. Also told me I could ‘buy their product at a discount’. Total cheek ;-P
For. The. LOLS. That shiz makes me want to kick a wall.
I love this! It happens with me too…
This is getting bookmarked right now to be sent as a reply to these brands. Thank you for taking the time to write it – hallelujia!
Spread the word sista x
Hahaha! Leigh, you totally just made my day. I miss your no-nonsense straight talk! Hope to see you again soon! x