If you follow me on social media you’ll know I’m a complete slet for a good buffet. If peeps are serving up all you can eat, this is where I’m going to be – but only on special occasions because I’m also very vain and still have to trick a man into thinking I’d make a great trophy wife. (The moment that ring slides onto my finger I’ll be slipping into KFC-stained stretchy pants.)

Anyway, there’s nothing like a good bubbly-addled brunch buffet and, as a blogger, I’ve had the joy of experiencing loads of them but now I’ve found The Best One Ever – the Breakers Brunch at the Radission Blu V&A Waterfront.

Here are the details you need to know:

For R550 per person, you have access to aaaaall the food plus soft drinks, local beers, beers on tap and house wine. Buuuut, for R695 you get all that PLUS unlimited Da Luca Prosecco, a gin bar station serving an array of cocktails, mocktails, alcoholic slushies and mimosas.

This takes place every Saturday, along with live music, from 12:30pm and the cocktails are served up until 3pm. Brunch is weather dependent and booking is essential.

So, what kind of food are we talking about? Well, if you’re a sushi freak like me, that’s the first thing you’ll notice on arrival. Beautiful, fresh, vissie vleis all wrapped up to create an array of delish-tasting mooiness that includes salmon roses.

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Once your heart rate slows down you’ll then notice an 80s-inspired starter station where you’ll find the kind of delights your parents used to indulge in after sending you to bed in your My Little Pony PJs. These include smoked snoek, fancy pants prawn cocktails and even pickled fish.

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There are loads of other awesome startery/snacky things too scattered all around the room. These included lots of charcuterie, a big cheese board that I forgot to photograph, various leaf and pasta salads and then some.

To your left, you’ll find a bewildering amount of dessert. Like bewildering. You won’t know what to choose and, by the end of your meal, you’ll probably be stuffed to the brim so you’ll end up taking two cubes of coconut ice and a cake pop. Then, 24 hours later when you’re hungry again, you’ll berate yourself for not slowing your roll from the start. You’ll be annoyed that you didn’t throw a handful of Astros into your bag. You’ll hate that you didn’t even take a bite of something off the donut wall. Like, could you have been any more amateur?

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Once I’d eaten so much sugar I could feel my eyes starting to glaze, we found out that they hadn’t even served the mains yet. MAINS, people. You get mains! WTF?! Why didn’t I listen to the nice waitress lady when she was explaining shizz to me? Why was I so hypnotised by the prospect of getting to eat as many oysters as my greedy little stomach could handle? (Yep. There are oysters! That’s you getting your money’s worth right there!) They went down a treat with a Bloody Mary that I ordered as hot as hell and got it just the way I like it.

If you go, I hope you eat those oysters like a machine ‘cos the next time you see them they’ll be a la carte at some plastic tablecloth-bedecked mall gaaitjie like Ocean Basket and you’ll be taking out a bank loan to buy just six.

Speaking of money, I think it’s clear by now that yes, a R550 buffet isn’t exactly wallet-friendly, but when it comes to great value, the Radisson’s offering is fantastic.

Main-wise, you can choose any three off the menu plus two sides. Sam and I ended up picking prawns, pretty much all the meat options and gave the sides a skip due to fullness. Everything was great and I especially enjoyed the fillet that I dipped into a zingy Chimichurri sauce.

In all, the deliciousness being served up at the Radisson this festive season is beyond. If you’re wanting to spoil yourself or treat someone to a truly memorable day out then I think this fits the bill like a boss. The entire time I was sitting there I kept wishing my folks where in Cape Town ‘cos it’s the kind of thing they’d have loved and it would’ve made a really nice Christmas present.

Love, love

Leigh