Aaarrrgghhhh! Tonight is the sure to be fabulous Maybelline launch. (Peeps are so excited about it, they’re counting down the hours until it starts on twitter…) I’m supposed to wear a rokkie the size of a face cloth – but I went on a wild sugar binge that’s resulted in my bod bloating up the size of a bloody Wendy house…
Thanks to Woolies’ Peanut Bliss ice cream, which is now banned from my home, I’ve packed on a good 2 kgs! I’ve been attempting to starve it off before the end of the mo with a diet filled with unspeakable horrors like fresh fruit, veg and foods that don’t come out of drive-thru windows… but when the clock struck four today, something in me just snapped!
You know how in horror movies, when the dude that’s been bitten by le zombie suddenly does the Big Changeroo? How he suddenly gets that mentalistic look on his face and his head does that freaky, slow tilt to the side? IT WAS LIKE THAT! But instead of dragging myself off, arms outstretched, to find a nice chunk o’ fresh human flesh, I pulled into the snack aisle at Clicks…
Suuugggarr! Must have suuuugarrr!
Thus, I’ve now ingested two packets of chips, an entire bag of licorice All Sorts, six marshmallow eggs AND a giant tube of Smarties – even though the latter was imported from the UK and had a weird ‘burned’ taste… How am I going to put on my zexy stilettos when I can’t see my freakin’ feet?!!!
The sweet peeps at work have told me I’m not to worry – that I have a ‘nice personality’ to fall back on, but seriously, like, how long has it been since I whipped that out? Sigh…
At least I can distract people with all the beautiful bling I’ll be wearing, gifted to me by Modern Design Jewellery. (Thank you Dagmar, I love my jewels to bits!) If I have time before I leave the house, I’ll snap a piccie of it once I’m all
trussed dolled up… otherwise I’ll be sure to post a million shots from the event – most of which will feature me thrusting my wrist into the frame so as to show off my gorgeous new bracelet.